Being a family can look different for each family.

Some of the key elements we do include:

1. Eat together. At least 3-4 times per week, sit down at the dinner table and eat together. This can be difficult during certain seasons of life. Sometimes we eat at 4:30, sometimes 7:30. On weekends, you can make a nice Saturday brunch or go out for lunch after church. During this relaxed meal time, kids open up about school, friends, work, or other things. Listen…and learn. When we go a few nights without a family dinner, my kids start to ask, “Are we have dinner together tonight?” They look forward to a warm meal and more importantly the consistency of family at the table. This consistent pattern builds their sense of confidence and security in themselves and their family unit.

2. Road trips. Everything from the hardware store on Saturday to Toledo for a Mud Hens game or Minneapolis for a visit to Mall of America. The time in the car gives you a captive audience. Short trips teach them how you deal with daily routines, issues, and conversations. Longer trips allow you to experience driving through downtown Chicago, crossing the Mississippi River, and so forth. Some of our best memories as a family are from road trips we have taken around the US. Laughs, arguments, snacks, and naps…take it all in and persevere.

3. Support each other. Attend your kid’s games, plays, concerts, and matches. Watch them…not your phone. Stay engaged in the activity. It gives you a lot to talk about on the way home or at the dinner table after the game. It also means the world to them!

These simple steps convey a strong message that your children matter to you. I remember my oldest son asking me several times, “Why do you care so much?” This was during his teen years when they act is if we are annoying them, but don’t back off. Stay engaged. They need you!